Frustration
by RonnielleNo1fan
Summary: Another Ronnie and Danielle fic xx
1. Chapter 1

_I need to tell her_

_I have to tell her _

_I want to tell her_

Danielle sat there in frustration trying to make up her mind whether she was going to tell Ronnie or not. She sat in her bedroom in complete silence for 1 hour trying to get her head round things, (Well technically it was Stacey's spare room). She sighed as she still could not make up her mind. She was so confused she didn't know what to do if she told her they could finally be together or face rejection. But if she didn't then I might be too late by the time she made up her mind.

She rolled her eyes and got sat up straight and stretched. She was quite stiff when she stood up as she lay on her bed for over an hour without flinching. She made her way down to the kitchen and put on the kettle she heard the door shut it must have been Stacey returning from her stall. 'Hey Dan you okay?' Stacey asked as she was concerned about her friend that had been acting quite strangely lately. 'Yea I'm fine Stace, why wouldn't be?' Danielle questioned her friend. ; Nothing it's just you have been acting a bit down in the dumps lately I was just checking to see if you were alright that all' Stacey replied concernedly. 'No I am fine' Danielle replied trying to smile.

Ronnie sat in her office clutching the most precious thing she had. She swinged it side to side her eyes looking anywhere other than the image in front of her. Tears filled her eyes she couldn't help it she wanted all this pain and constant regret to disappear. She pulled a bottle of vodka out of her desk drawer. She drank from the bottle vigour sly without stopping until she finished. She sighed and began to cry uncontrobally. She put her head down on the desk. She hated her life a constant lie every day was torture. She had to keep hiding this constant pain from everyone. She hated it, she hated everyone, and her life was a mess, Pointless she thought to herself,

Jack entered the room. 'Ron you okay?' He asked worriedly as to why the love of his life was lying basically on the desk. 'Jack please just go away!' Ronnie shouted at her ex. 'Ron I can tell your really unhappy please why can't you just tell me what's wrong' He asked curiously. 'Because Jack because I don't want! She exclaimed at him. 'Ron, if you won't tell anyone what's wrong how are we suppose to help?' He asked nervously. ' That's the point I don't want your help I don't need it , I am fine on my own I don't need anyone!' She shouted loudly. 'Have you been drinking?' He asked concernedly as he saw an empty bottle of vodka on the floor. 'So what if I have?' She told him vigour sly. 'Look Ron why don't you go home you're not yourself, you need to cool down' He told her calmly. Ronnie got up and staggered out of R&R. 'Jack you don't know what I need no one does! She screamed at him from the top of the stairs and continued making her way back to her house.

'Look Stace I need to go see Ronnie about something I'll be back in a bit' Danielle told Stacey dying to get out of the house. 'Why would you want to see that cow?' Stacey asked heartlessly. 'She's not that bad' Danielle replied protectively. 'Whatever you see Dan I'll see you later go to R&R's?' She asked her friend. 'Yea maybe I will see how I feel later' Danielle replied halfway out the door. 'Ok then' Replied Stacey confused as to why her friend was so protective of Ronnie Mitchell and why was she being so strange lately?..........................................


	2. Chapter 2

_You're wondering why i am at your door_

_I told you_

_Only it wasn't what i planned on telling you _

_And now what am i going to do?_

Ronnie sat lying on the sofa in a deep trance. She kept staring into the image that was kept in a beautiful silver locket. She couldn't take her eyes of this image, though it probably looked blurry to her as she had been crying. She gave a slight smile. She longed to be with actual person not the image so much. Her slight smile turned into anger and frustration. She cried silently. Her trance was broken by a knock on her door.

She jumped up of the couch. The mascara was running down her face, she couldn't let anybody see her like this. ' Emm...just a minute she shouted heading towards the bathroom. She dabbed her face cloth with fresh warm water from the tap. She carefully wiped her face. Her mascara was running down her face and was smudging. She quickly wiped it off. She grabbed a towel to dry her face of. She sighed and headed down stairs to answer the door.

'Oh Danielle its you' Ronnie said trying to act normal. ' I was wondering if i could talk to you about something' Danielle asked nervously. ' Emm...ok come in' Ronnie replied curiously as to why this young girl wanted to talk to her. ' But Danielle if its about your shifts at R&R i ca—' Ronnie was cut off. ' No its nothing to do with R&R' Danielle replied. 'Oh' Ronnie responed curiously as Ronnie thought that would be what Danielle wanted to talk about.

' Do you want something to drink?' Ronnie asked. ' Yea sure' Danielle replied. Ronnie came through with 2 glasses of vodka. ' I thought you meant like tea or coffee' Danielle said sighing. ' Dont you drink?' Asked Ronnie. ' Not anymore' Danielle mumbled to herself. ' Yea but i just don't fancy alchol at this time thats all' Danielle replied trying to smile. ' Ok then' Ronnie said going into the kitchen to make Danielle some tea.

Ronnie came back through with 1 steaming hot cup of tea. Danielle smile. 'Thanks' She said politely. Ronnie smiled. ' So what was it you wanted to talk about?' Ronnie asked curiously. ' Well its just that emm....well – ' Come on Danielle what is it? I haven't got all day you know ' Ronnie said impatiently.

'Can i use your loo?' Danielle asked Ronnie. ' Oh go on then' Ronnie replied sighing. Danielle made her way up the stairs to the bathroom. She tried to memorize all of Ronnie's things. She picked up Ronnie's hairbrush. There was loads of strands of Ronnie's long Blonde hair stuck to it. Danielle smiled. She pulled one strand of her hair of the brush and examined it closely. She smiled and put it back. She spotted Ronnie's make-up bag. She pulled out a brightly red lipstick and smiled. She put it in her pocket. She wanted to take something to have of her mothers even though she already had a locket but her mother had actually used this, she had touched it.

' Danielle are you alright?' Ronnie asked curiously as to Danielle had been in there for about 10 minutes.' Yes i'm just coming' Danielle shouted from the bathroom. Danielle quickly hurried down stairs. ' What took you so long?' Ronnie asked curiously. ' Oh sorry i was on the phone to Stacey and you know how she can go on' Danielle said thinking of an excuse. ' Oh ok.....anyway what was it you wanted to talk to me about? Ronnie asked.

Danielle suddenly felt her head pound it was worse than a migrane. It felt like someone was punching her head several times. She felt dizzy. She was starting to have double vision. ' Danielle?' Ronnie asked nervously. ' Do you have any paracetomol ' Danielle asked feeling very light headed. Ronnie rushed through to the kitchen and searched her cupboard.

Of course she had paracetomol. Ronnie suffered very bad head aches. She had so much stress , pain and anxiety to cope with. She had really bad depression she had been recommended by the doctor to take these pills which would help. She refused oviously. There was only one thing that could stop her feeling like this and it was gone.

She came back through to the living room with a glass of water and some paracetmol. Danielle was trying to stand up but she was finding it hard. ' Danielle?' Ronnie asked helping her to the sofa. ' Sweetie whats wrong? You can tell me' Ronnie said reasurrinly . Ronnie handed Danielle the pills and a glass of water. Danielle swallowed by this time she was in tears. I'm-..i',m Pregnant..............................


	3. Chapter 3

_What should i do_

_Where should i turn_

_Should i listen to your advice?_

Ronnie didn't know what to do. She pulled Danielle in. She cried on Ronnie's shoulder. There was a long pause until Ronnie finally broke the tension. ' Danielle have you thought about what you are going to do. ' I—i don't know ,it wasn't planned it was just one big stupid mistake that should have never meant to happen. Ronnie struggled to cope. She 2 had fell pregnant at a young age. ' Oh Danielle' Ronnie spoke softly. ' I guess....i guess , look Ronnie what would you do?' Danielle asked hoping for an answer.

' Danielle ple—' Ronnie was cut of. ' Please just tell me what to do' Danielle said practictly begging for some advice. She didn't know what to do follow her heart or her brain. ' Look Danielle i had a baby when i was 14' Ronnie said sadly as mentioning it was bringing back bad painful memories. Ronnie really struggled to say what she was about to say. ' Danielle that baby—that baby was the biggest mistake of my life' Ronnie said trying not to cry.

Danielle sat there in shock , she was a mistake , it was her mothers biggest mistake. 'How do you mean?' Asked Danielle. ' Look put it this way , if i hadn't had that baby my life would have been a lot easier' Ronnie replied. ' What did you do?' Asked Danielle. ' I put her up for adoption, i mean if i had the chance i would have aborted it but the time i found out i was pregnant well it was to late' Ronnie said trying to sound like it was the best thing when she knew deep down that wasn't the story. ' So what are you saying that i—that i should have an abortion' Danielle asked very curiously. ' Maybe its for the best' Ronnie pointed out. ' Its your decision Danielle , I would think about what world you want your baby to come in to ' Ronnie said reasurrinly.

' I think i should go' Danielle said dying to get out of her mothers sight. Danielle headed for the door without even saying goodbye. Danielle headed for the playground when she got there she sat on the swings and began to cry.

As soon as Danielle left Ronnie ran up the stairs into her bathroom and locked the door. She collapsed to the ground in a heap and began to cry uncontrabally. What she had told Danielle was a big fat lie. But she had to she couldn't let Danielle think that it was ok to bring a baby into this world with no money no paying father it was for the best she kept trying to tell herself.

Danielle pulled her locket from under her neck and opened it up she began to cry even more now because she had just found out that she was a mistake a big mistake. She sat there for what seemed like hours until Stacey approached her. ' Dan?' She asked nervously. Danielle quickly wiped her eyes to try and show no signs of crying. ' What is it Stace?' She asked trying to sound fine. ' Are you ok it looks like you have been crying?' Stacey asked worriedly. ' Emm...no Stace i'm fine' She replied. ' Then why are you sitting in the middle of a kids play park then?' Stacey asked confusedly . ' I just needed some fresh air thats all' Danielle replied reassuringly. ' Ok then Dan' Stacey replied , ' So emm..are you up for R&R's tonight?. ' I think i'll give tonight a miss' Danielle told Stacey, 'maybe some other time ok?. ' Okay then Dan i'll see you later then' Stacey replied. ' Bye' Danielle shouted as Stacey began to walk of into the distance.

' _Ronnie, your right about this , i am going to have an abortion i just wouldn't be fair on a the baby bringing it into this, will you come with me? Danielle x' _she texted to Ronnie

**Soz this is a short chapter promise next one will be longer**

**Hannah xx**


	4. Chapter 4

_Memories are hard to forget_

_Some are good_

_Some are bad_

_But no matter what they'll always stay in the past_

Ronnie's cries were broke by the bleeping of her phone. She got up of the cold floorboards and unlocked the door. She flipped open her phone. '_1 new message Danielle'_ she read the message over and over again. How could she possibly go to an abortion clinic. She hated places like that it because it brought back so many painful memories. But then she thought again who else would go with Danielle , i mean she didn't think Stacey would be to happy with it. She texted Danielle back saying _'Ok but are you really sure about this?'._

Danielle sat swinging about on the swings which brought back a happy memory of when she was a child. In the summer her dad used to take her and her brother gareth to the park all the time her dad used to push her as high as the swing would go she loved it , she loved going to the park. But then she thought of another memory not as pleasent. She saw all the other kids with their mums there mums laughing and cuddling them babies crying but then they'd stop when their mother held them. Her adoptive mum was too ill to come outside. She had only just found out that she was adopted that day. She came home and she got given the locket and that that was her new comfort. She used to imagine all sorts of things with her mum none of them real though.

Her thoughts were disturbed by her one beeping. She looked at the message. '_Ok but are you sure about this?' _It read. Danielle had made up her mind it was the right thing to do, she was to young she had her whole life ahead of her. Anyway who knows in a few years time she would be ready and would plan it out then she could consider having a child at the moment she had much bigger things to worry about and having a child would not be ideal. '_Yes i am sure i have thought about it and i have decided your right its for the best i know deep down i am just not ready'_ Danielle texted.

Ronnie received the text. Danielle had made up her mind this is what she wanted. Ronnie sighed in despair and ran her hands through her hair and took a deep breath. She scrolled down the numbers until she found Danielle's , she hit call. ' Hey Danielle it's me' Ronnie said trying to sound cheerful. ' Emm...listen have you booked an appointment?' Ronnie asked trying to sound as nice as possible, ' Yea i just phoned them a minute ago i managed to get appointment tomorrow at 2 o'clock is that ok for you?' Danielle asked curiously. 'Yea that should be fine' Ronnie said reassuringly. ' Meet me at R&R's at 1 and i'll call a cab alright?' Ronnie asked Danielle. ' Yea Okay then' Danielle said trying to smile even though Ronnie couldn't see her. ' Well then i better go' Ronnie said trying to break of the conversation. ' Alright bye' Danielle said. Ronnie hung up the phone.

Danielle got of up the swing and decided to head back to the slater's . She sighed and began to walk back home. When she arrived Stacey was getting ready to go out partying at R&R's. 'Dan are you sure you don't want to come it will be a laugh' Stacey asked reassuringly. ' No thanks, i really don't feel to well' Danielle told Stacey. ' Okay then suit yourself i'll see you later' Stacey said grabbing her coat and headed out the door.

Danielle had the house to her self. Stacey was out partying. Mo was away with Fat Elvis, Jean had an appointment at the doctors and Charlie was away on his shift with the cabs. Danielle couldn't help feel lonely she was all on her own and no one was there. There was nothing on tv either. She decided to go to bed i mean she needed some sleep tomorrow was going to be hell anyway........................


	5. Chapter 5

_Lying can only bring out the bad_

_Telling the truth can only bring out good_

_Honesty is the best policy_

Ronnie did not get a wink of sleep. She sat there the whole night staring at the ceiling. She kept thinking what was she doing. Should she let Danielle go through with it or should she tell her truth of what its like to lose a child? Ronnie kept going round and round in circles all night long thinking what to do.

Danielle didn't get much sleep either she had cryed half the night and was scared. She kept telling herself its for the best over and over again. She broke out of her trance with the sound of the alarm clock it made her jump. She sighed and turned it off. She got up and went through to the bathroom. She looked in the mirror. She sighed in despair and ran a bath. She phoned Ronnie to double check that she was defenentliy coming.

' Hey Ronnie its me Danielle i was just wondering if you were still up for today?' Danielle asked nervously. ' Emm...yea of course' Ronnie replied sighing. ' So i'll meet you at R&R's at 1 then? Danielle asked curiously. ' Yep' Ronnie replied. ' Emm...well my baths nearly ready so i better go turn it off ' Danielle told Ronnie. ' Okay then bye' Ronnie replied putting down the phone.

Ronnie hung up the phone and chucked on the ground. She got up and decided to get dressed. After that she went into the bathroom to do her make-up. She went to put on her bright red lispstick but it was gone. She thought she was going insane. ' I know i put it there' She mumbled to herself. She sighed in despair and grabbed her coat it was 12 O'clock she decided she would go for a walk.

Danielle had just got out the bath she starred at the clock. ' I've got 1 hour' she thought to herself. She dried her hair and got dressed. She put on her locket and quickly checked up on Stacey. ' Stacey are you ok?' Danielle asked curiously. ' Leave me alone Dan oww my head have you got any paracetomol' Stacey asked putting her hand to her head. ' Stace i left some on your cabnit last night before i went bed see' She said pointing to the cabnit next to Stacey. ' Oh thanks Dan you really are a good friend' Stacey told Danielle. Danielle smiled. ' Well i better get going' Danielle smiled. ' Dan where are you going?' Stacey asked curiously. ' Emm....i'm going to the dentist..yea i have a appointment at the dentist' Danielle stated sighing in relievement. ' Oh....alright then' Stacey replied. ' Bye Stace' said Danielle waving. ' Good luck' Stacey shouted from her bed as Danielle was heading out the door.

Ronnie entered the outdoors her face was hit by the cold fresh morning air. She began to walk over to Arthurs bench her hair blowing in the wind. She sat down she looked up at the sky then back down again she took out her locket that was underneath her Jacket and held it tightly. She brung it towards her lips and kissed it. She looked up at the sky again. ' I have always loved you' She said still looking up at the sky with her locket.

Danielle was taken aback by really how windy it was that day. She sighed. She began to walk along the square , She walked towards Arthurs bench she sat down. She looked across and she saw Ronnie right next to her. ' Danielle' Ronnie said trying to smile. ' Hi Ronnie' Danilelle said causaully. ' I just came out for a bit of fresh air. ' So did i' Ronnie replyed. ' Thank you for coming with me today i really appreciate it, its nice to know that you have some one to support you ' Danielle said with a slight smile. ' No problem' Ronnie said rubbing Danielle's hand. Ronnie looked at her phone. ' Oh its 5 to 1 the cab will be arriving in 5 minutes' Ronnie stated.

They began to walk over to R&R's. When they arrived the cab was already there. ' Come on Danielle, jump in' Ronnie said opening the car door. Danielle got into the cab and sat there quietly. Ronnie got in to. ' You know where your taking us?' Ronnie questioned the man. ' Yea i got the directions you gave me' the man replied.

There was a long silence. No one spoke the whole way there well except the can driver when he started swearing at the traffic.

When they arrived Ronnie took Danielle's hand for comfort.' Danielle don't worry everythings going to be alright' Ronnie said reassuringly. Danielle gave a slight smile. They made there way through to the waiting room. It was horrible. If the walls were anymore yellow it would have looked like the sun. There were loads of posters everywhere all of them depressing of course. Ronnie hated it to it reminded her of the hospital she was in when she had her baby.

They waited and waited till what seemed like hours until finally one of the nurses came out. ' Danielle?' she smiled. ' Yea' Danielle replied. ' If you'd like to come through now' the nurse asked. ' You can bring your mum in if you want' She said reassuringly. ' Oh im no—' Ronnie was stopped by Danielle. 'Would you?' Danielle pleaded. 'Oh emm...yea' Ronnie said surprised. Ronnie and Danielle made their way in the room. It was tiny all there was was a desk a glass of water and a pill. How weird a Ronnie thought to her self a while ago it was operations and surgery now it was just a tiny pill.

The nurse explained Danielle through the procedure and Danielle nodded. ' So if you would want to take the pill' the nurse said reassuringly. Ronnie watched in horror as Danielle picked up the pill and put it towards her mouth. ' DANIELLE STOP, PLEASE DONT DO IT' Ronnie shouted. Making Danielle nearly fall of her seat. 'Danielle keep your baby hold on to it never let it go , please you'll regret it and the truth is i regretted giving my baby away and now i have to live with it for the rest of my life so please don't make the same mistake as i did' Ronnie pleaded........................................

**Thanks for all the comments and reviews **

**Hannah xx**


	6. Chapter 6

_If you don't tell the truth_

_Then it might be kept a secret forever_

_But if you just shout it out_

_It can sometimes make you feel better_

But i thought you said—' . 'I will give you 2 a minute to talk things over' Said the nurse leaving the room. ' Look Danielle i know what i said but i just said it to make you feel better' Ronnie said looking into Danielle's eyes. ' But how am i suppose to raise it i have no money , a crap job and no home i mean i cant live at Stacey's forever ' Danielle sighed.' Well i can pay you extra wages and well maybe if you want you could move in with me' Ronnie said smiling.

This was all to much for Danielle i mean moving in with her mother without her even knowing she had to tell her but whenever she tried the words just got mumbled. Instead she ran out of the room not knowing what to do. 'Danielle!, Danielle!' Ronnie screamed. Ronnie went chasing after her. Danielle had no idea where she was going , i mean she was about an hour away from Walford. She was running really fast she saw Ronnie behind her. She kept looking behind her and didn't see the curb of the pavement she went flying forward and fell to the ground. ' DANIELLE!' Ronnie screamed in shock. She rushed over to the pregnant young woman before her eyes. ' Are you ok?' Ronnie asked very curiously. ' I'm fine' Said Danielle getting up off the pavement. Ronnie grabbed her by the shoulders and looked into her eyes. ' Danielle whats wrong why did you just run of like that?' Ronnie asked. Danielle bursted into tears. ' Oh sweetie come on you can tell me , please what ever it is' Ronnie pleaded. ' I cant i just cant' Replied Danielle. She collapsed into Ronnies arms. Ronnie wrapped her arms right around her. ' Why don't we go for some coffee?' Ronnie asked Danielle. Danielle nodded.

They went to a little coffee shop around the corner. ' So Danielle what is wrong?' Ronnie asked in her best pleading voice. ' Why do you even care , i'm just a girl that works for you?' Danielle replied coldly. ' Danielle to be honest thats what i have been asking my self lately i just cant understand it' Ronnie said sighing. ' And Ronnie what was that all about in the abortion clinic about you saying that you regretted giving your baby up for adoption?' Danielle asked curiously.

' Look that doesn't matter' Ronnie said trying to change the subject.' Yes it does!' Danielle shouted. ' Danielle keep your voice down please' Ronnie said to Danielle. ' No you are always avoiding that subject whenever i ask you about it' Danielle said angrily. ' Look Danielle its really none of your business ' Ronnie said lowering her voice. ' It is so my buissness!' Danielle screamed. She got up of the chair and exited the shop.

Everybody was staring , Ronnie was still trying to work out by what she meant by it was so her business what was she talking about? Ronnie thought to herself. Ronnie grabbed her coat and headed out of the door. Danielle was out of sight. She sighed in despair and had no idea what to do.

Danielle was at the bus stop around the corner at the bottom of the road. She didn't care where it would take her anywhere was better than here. She was annoyed at Ronnie for keeping on changing her mind. One minute she wanted her baby to go up for adoption and the next minute she wanted to have kept it. Danielle was in a bad mood already. She just cancelled the abortion completely. So now she was going to have to have the baby. She nearly blew her cover and embarrassed Ronnie infront of all the customers in the coffee shop.

Ronnie was walking down the street when she spotted a blonde figure at the very bottom, She ran towards her. By the time Danielle had spotted her it was too late for her to run. 'Dan...Danielle' Ronnie said out of breath. ' What do you want?' Danielle asked annoyingly. ' What do you mean by it is your buissness?' Ronnie asked curiously. ' Just forget it' Danielle said abruptly. ' No i want to know what you meant' Ronnie replied. ' Well sometimes we don't get what we want do we?' Danielle questioned Ronnie. ' Danielle why are you being like this?' Ronnie asked. 'Because ..... because you can never make up your mind one minute you having your baby Was the biggest mistake of your life and now your saying you regretted giving her away why are you just always playing with my emotions?!' Danielle shouted. ' Look i don't understand i mean its not like your my daughter is it? So why does it affect you?' She questioned the young blonde. ' Yea your right i'm not your precious daughter i am not Amy Mitchell i am Danielle flipping Jones and do you know what since i am not Amy Mitchell i don't need this anymore' Danielle shouted. She pulled the locket from her chest and through it on the ground......................

**Sorry about this chapter i know its quite crap and that it may sound weird xx**

**Hannah xx**


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